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| I had my grammar final yesterday morning. English grammar. I didn't think I would, but I enjoyed the hell out of that class. Diagramming sentences is oddly therapeutic. The professor for that class was hilarious. Picture the strictest  victorian teacher in a black frock and grey bun that you can, but with a wacky inattention to organization and more linguistic knowledge than you can shake a stick at. Seriously. She wore button down dresses every day and looked like she would smack you with a ruler, but she was always really nice. She always cackled when someone raised their hands to say they were confused though. She’s probably a witch. That’s ok with me. I hope she is.
I had a German grammar final two weeks ago. I think the man took pity on me. That’s the only way I can explain the ‘B’ that appeared on my grade report. I was struggling for a C for the whole semester.
I’ve been interviewing to work at the Hilton downtown this summer. I had three different interviews, and the last on was kind of weird. The man interviewing me, the GM for the whole hotel, said he was an English and Art History major in college too! He spent the whole time quizzing me about art and literature. He told me to i dentify all of the framed prints in his office. They were relatively easy. Picasso’s Don Quixote, Hokusai’s The Great Wave off Kanagawa,and a bunch of Andy Warhol soup can prints.
I was unimpressed. I really like the Hokusai print, and the story behind the Don Quixote drawing is kind of funny, but there are better Picassos, and Andy Warhol is kind of an asshole. Also, I just spent a whole semester looking at 19th century landscapes, so these pictures were kind of out of my element.
These are some of my favorite paintings from my 19th c. landscapes class.
Rain, Steam and Speed - The Great Western Railway
painted (1844) - JMW Turner
Nocturne in Black and Gold, the Falling Rocket, ca. 1875
James Abbott McNeill Whistler (1834-1903)
Random art tangent. I apologize.Anyways, the end of the interview was weird because he thanked me and led me to the door without offering me a job or even saying he’d get back to me. I figured I had blown the interview. I was pretty upset with myself. Buuuuuuut. I got a call today telling me that if I pass a drug screening on Thursday morning, I get the job! I’m not looking forward to waking up early in the morning on Thursday to pee in a cup, but the prospect of making money this summer is pretty exciting.
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| - I used to hate chocolate. It made me gag, and I had the instant impulse to spit it out. When I was younger, my best friends (and even some of their moms) took pride in knowing this and would make me special non-chocolate alternatives if they were making cake, cookies, whathaveyou. In the past four years or so, I've grown to tolerate, and even like chocolate. I haven't publicized this much because I was so adamant that I'd never like chocolate, and I worry about altering those people's memories.
- I collect song lyrics. I have whole computer files full of song lyrics that I've saved organized by artist, time in my life, and mood.
- I should look at the growing price of oil in terms of how it will affect future generations, but it really just makes me worry that I won't be able to afford driving around aimlessly at night in my hometown, and that's one of my favorite things in the entire world.
- Do you ever feel like you're not creative enough? or worse, you're creative, but none of it get expressed to the world accurately? I do.
- I will forever have a soft spot for Blink 182.
“And it's happened once again, I'll turn to a friend
Someone that understands, sees through the master plan
But everybody's gone and I've been here for too long
To face this on my own, well I guess this is growing up”
~Blink 182, “Dammit”
“Watching your house shrink away
In my rearview mirror
As I drive away
Wishing that I could take back all those words
That meant nothing that I didn't say”
~Blink 182, “Waggy”
- When I was about five, I remember sitting in my closet for an entire afternoon listening to a silly songs tape in my Walkman and drawing pictures that related to each song with a skinny black marker. I still remember drawing a bicycle with a flower growing out of the seat for this song:
Daisy, Daisy
Give me your answer do
I'm half crazy all for the love
of you
It won't be a stylish marriage
I can't afford
a carriage
But you look sweet
Upon a seat
Of a bicycle built for two
- I haven't painted in over a year. I've been uninspired, but not unhappy.
-Yesterday was a beautiful day. I read part of a book by the pool, ran around town lake, lounged on the balcony during the sunset while listening to music, played mini-golf with Chris and Katie, and dyed Easter eggs
- I was born on Easter, but since easter is a whore, it isn't loyal to just one day. I'm glad. That way the resurrection of ourlordandsavior doesn't overshadow the more important event: my birth. Easter isn't really a whore. That was harsh. I actually really enjoy Easter service. Its always bretty bright and cheery. I think that's what religion ought to be. Easter is the only day when my family ever really went to church, but it really is the culmination of the whole religion. If he didn't rise from the dead, he would just be another guy who did some good instead of the son of God, right? I don't know. I've never been very religious. My lack of religion has never really bothered me much. I've always admired people who were really strong in their faith. At the same time, I've seen people who were really strong in their faith and it disgusted me. When I think about the people in the former category I realize that my respect for them likely had little to do with their faith. By the time I learned that they were religious, I probably already admired the way they lived life.
- I used to spend hours playing javatris in german on www.burgsoft.de. That was back in the day when I could afford to kill time. Ah, it was glorious.  I think that was the same summer I took driver's ed and started high school. It was the best summer of my life. I was invincible that summer.
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| I spent a fair amount of time tonight reading up on the democratic candidates. (Yes reading, not listening to vague speeches and one sided news reports) There are things I like and don't like about both Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama's political positions. Now I guess I just have to figure out which of them are more important to me. I'm still feeling equally ambivalent about the two.
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| I've been thinking about the nature of happiness. What do people need to be happy? Or, more selfishly, what do I need to be happy? I started thinking disjointedly, listing things I'd like to improve about my life and myself, and then realized that someone has already done all of this work for me. Good ol' Maslow.
The cause of (and solution to) all of life's problems:
What I think sounds like happiness these days is* a situation where I want to hang out with people as much as they want to hang out with me. I remember the days when I could hang out with my friends all day doing nothing and feel awesome, like there was no place else I'd rather be. Now, I've got this ghost formation of a life I'd like to have in the back of my mind that plays whenever I'm doing something that doesn't interest me.
This week has been going great though! (I know its only Tuesday) I've been doing workout classes every day, and playing disc golf with Laura and saying hi to random people that I don't know on campus. I'm realizing that you have to reach out to people. Somedays I used to go through the whole school day seeing, but not speaking to hudreds of people. You wake up alone, drive to school alone, sit in your class where you don't know anybody, then walk to your next class where you don't know anybody, then work out in a class full of girls who all know each other except for you and then get on the bus and silently go home, and all the while you haven't even opened your mouth except to answer professor's questions. Its a lonely existence. Buuuuuut not if you talk to people!
I don't mean to sound like a self help book, and I know that this wasn't deeply philosophical or academic, but sometimes its easy to forget that there are people out there. We must be reminded.
*cleft sentence structure that Chuck Palahniuk uses too often
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| YAY! Trinity won state! I wish I could have been there, but I'm still proud of the Trojans. I was at work.
Speaking of which, I have decided to decree that this is Hug Your Favorite Target Employee Week. Everyone should plan to celebrate accordingly. After 8 hours of standing in one place and dealing with the public, trust me, a few hugs would be nice.
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... so I'll wait by a palm tree...
